Thank you, Amy. Wishing you peace, as well. For me, writing helps and getting 3 journals for my birthday reminds me I need to get back in the practice habit.
Sending hugs and prayers. You're not alone, Susan. May I offer that even if your mother is being cared for elsewhere, you're still caregiving..now at a distance but still orchestrating, caring and needing to respond to her needs. It's another change, and yet, it's still the same emotional rollercoaster of caregiving. Every change also has loss attached to it.
I struggled with funk in December as my Dad passed away in early January, and this year is compounded by watching a very good friend rapidly decline with cancer. So, I'm walking alongside you with grief resonance. It's not easy. I'm trying not to overthink the funk to avoid making it bigger...it's there, and it sucks. It's challenging to make good choices i.e. avoid eating my feelings when it's Christmas 'indulgence' time! There are too many temptations like good cheese, wine and mince pies!
Thanks, Victoria. And I think that's exactly it: it hasn't really changed even though it has completely changed. It's still exhausting, the navigation and caregiving. And it still feels out of control, or my control.
The compounding effect is so challenging - I am sorry for the space you are in right now watching your friend decline. Another change and loss of what was. If self care looks like eating a bit more of the cheese and mince pies and drinking that beautiful wine then that's what it looks like right now! Plus it's cold and dark and we are still alive and here to find enjoyment where we can.
December is always hard for me. Giving ourselves the space to be okay with the funk definitely helps.
Sending hugs your way and enjoy the comfort of lovely food x
Mutual support from those in the know is a profound comfort xoxo
Thanks, Susan.
P.S. The metaphor I used: 'It's been an extreme challenge—the acts of caregiving and orchestrating all the connecting elements. We are the orchestra, the sheet music, and all the instruments. We are the conductor, but we have no baton.'
Victoria? Please allow yourself the grace of indulgence. You are in a human body at the moment - allow yourself to soothe your grief with creature comforts.
Bless you, Lisa. I appreciate your comment - Hugs!
I do, don't worry! I'm just very conscious that food and alcohol are also numbing coping tools that I used 2015-2017. Given my father's family history of heart disease, I'm now wary of physically over-burdening my heart. The heart has enough to work on emotionally. ;-) The most restorative, beautiful grace is deep, resonant sleep that for me, is enabled by meditation and music. xo
Wishing you a peaceful week ahead and the best of whatever visits happen. I am glad you continue to write to think through everything happening.
Thank you, Amy. Wishing you peace, as well. For me, writing helps and getting 3 journals for my birthday reminds me I need to get back in the practice habit.
Sending hugs and prayers. You're not alone, Susan. May I offer that even if your mother is being cared for elsewhere, you're still caregiving..now at a distance but still orchestrating, caring and needing to respond to her needs. It's another change, and yet, it's still the same emotional rollercoaster of caregiving. Every change also has loss attached to it.
I struggled with funk in December as my Dad passed away in early January, and this year is compounded by watching a very good friend rapidly decline with cancer. So, I'm walking alongside you with grief resonance. It's not easy. I'm trying not to overthink the funk to avoid making it bigger...it's there, and it sucks. It's challenging to make good choices i.e. avoid eating my feelings when it's Christmas 'indulgence' time! There are too many temptations like good cheese, wine and mince pies!
HUGS
Thanks, Victoria. And I think that's exactly it: it hasn't really changed even though it has completely changed. It's still exhausting, the navigation and caregiving. And it still feels out of control, or my control.
The compounding effect is so challenging - I am sorry for the space you are in right now watching your friend decline. Another change and loss of what was. If self care looks like eating a bit more of the cheese and mince pies and drinking that beautiful wine then that's what it looks like right now! Plus it's cold and dark and we are still alive and here to find enjoyment where we can.
December is always hard for me. Giving ourselves the space to be okay with the funk definitely helps.
Sending hugs your way and enjoy the comfort of lovely food x
Mutual support from those in the know is a profound comfort xoxo
Thanks, Susan.
P.S. The metaphor I used: 'It's been an extreme challenge—the acts of caregiving and orchestrating all the connecting elements. We are the orchestra, the sheet music, and all the instruments. We are the conductor, but we have no baton.'
This metaphor makes me laugh/cry 😩
Victoria? Please allow yourself the grace of indulgence. You are in a human body at the moment - allow yourself to soothe your grief with creature comforts.
Bless you, Lisa. I appreciate your comment - Hugs!
I do, don't worry! I'm just very conscious that food and alcohol are also numbing coping tools that I used 2015-2017. Given my father's family history of heart disease, I'm now wary of physically over-burdening my heart. The heart has enough to work on emotionally. ;-) The most restorative, beautiful grace is deep, resonant sleep that for me, is enabled by meditation and music. xo
Warm Christmas wishes and hugs to you <3
Thanks, Nneka. I hope you’re traversing the holiday with grace and ease x